A touch of Crimson
by Tamomelia
Summary: Rated M to be safe. Within the walls of the ministry there can blossom a lot of things, war and love.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, all credits to J.K. Nothing belongs to me! Except the main lady, she is aaaall mine.  
>Okay, new story and everything. Gave up the others… kinda. We'll see. But hey, I hope you will like this, it is something I write between my classes. Enjoy and please review!<strong>

It had been cold for days, maybe even weeks by now. A certain fair-haired shadow had haunted the back of her mind for months. It was just now lately that the cold had hit the scattered area. Frost covered hillsides, trees, and creeks that had lost their life so long ago.  
>The once so vivacious and serene landscape seemed so different by now. October, and autumn had lost all its right to live. How long had it been? Barely two months, perhaps.<p>

A dark September evening. Masks. A sprained ankle. A fair-haired man.

It had been a ministry ball, a rather posh event; the invitation had draped it as a masquerade. Of course she had gone; it was her duty as an employee of the department of International Magical Cooperation.  
>Her crimson red hair, curly in a soft way, as always, had given her identity away in a heartbeat. A green mask and a green dress. Fitted silk in the bodice, silk flaring out in the skirt. She wasn't usually clumsy, not even in heels, but somehow she had fallen on her way out of the ladies room. Her ankle had been throbbing so badly, an odd sensation of dull, but still sharp pain. A shadow had approached her, dark and light in one form. A creature so serene in its cold shape. He had offered her an arm as support, but the ankle had been too sore to stand on. He had chuckled softly by her frustrated moan. A black mask on his face, but still she recognized him in a heartbeat. He had actually lifted her up and asked if he should take her home. As if it was truly a question. Shyly she had agreed and let him carry her to the nearest floo.<p>

"Zaria Romanov's Mansion." Her voice shook slightly as she spoke, but he just smiled and stepped into the green flames.

He had smelled even better up close than at distance. He had a distinct smell, musky, but still sophisticated and proper for whom he was. Even thinking about how he had smelled and when he had carried her into her living room and laid her on her sofa wanted to make her sigh. Such a beautiful man, a proper gentleman. She had never spoken to him before; he had just appeared that night and saved her for limping over alone to the floo. That would've been a total embarrassment in the eyes of the public. He had looked at her ankle and proclaimed it as sprained. With a witty smile she had said that she already had realized that fact.

"I had a feeling that the crimson hair of yours couldn't belong to anyone else than a Romanov." The corner of his mouth was lifted as he looked at her, the mask still on. They knew each other's identity, but they wouldn't reveal anything just yet.

"Your hair is quite recognizable as well." She smiled slightly as she started to push her black heels of the sore foot. The dark living room that surrounded them made their voices echo slightly.

He had left shortly after, just smirked at her with his characteristic smile and a glint in his eyes. He beat her age with almost twenty years, but she couldn't help but shake slightly in the knees she didn't even put any weight on.

_Oh__my_, she shook her head. Here she was standing, staring out of her bedroom window and reliving that evening. Why had his presence made such an impression on her? Other than the fact of who he was. She had seen this mister so many times at the ministry, this fair-haired, tall, authority figure. A man with beauty beyond anything you could expect from the male specie. She shook her head again and turned away from the window. She wore black robes, proper for a day at work. Her hair hung loosely, curling itself in big, soft curls down to cover her chest. She pushed it to cover her back instead. With swift movements she crossed the room and got over to the mirror. She looked at her reflection, watched the 25 year-old woman with rich green eyes, crimson hair and porcelain skin. No freckles, nothing of that. Her features resembled her Russian heritage, high cheekbones, a little, soft nose, and something that shone through as "arrogant". Okay, the last one was just something that came with being a Romanov. Her last name was one of the things that had given her the job she had, but also her sharp mind and ability to speak more languages that she could count on two hands. Her grades had been outstanding and charm was nothing she lacked. A smart child, pushed beyond her limits, by her parents of course.  
>She sighed, looking once again at young Zaria in the mirror. Red roses suddenly appeared at her cheeks and she quickly raised a hand to cover one of them.<p>

"Stop blushing, you fool." She hissed at herself and turned at her heel, heading out her bedroom door and down the stairs to the living room where her floo was. The dark living room was closing in on her, it always was. Especially when she didn't bother letting any daylight in. With an abrupt movement she took some of the green powder and threw it into the waiting fireplace. Green flames emerged like craving demons, but still she stepped into it, letting it devour her and take her to the ministry.

It had been a while since last time she had put her feet on the stone floor of the ministry, but the great hall engulfed her with all its greatness in stone and tiles. It all seemed so cold, even though the light was flooding in through bewitched windows, high up there, by the roof. The whole great area was flooded with robes moving around, dark shadows with bright colors spattered here and there. It had been a very good reason for her absence in this great area, a trip to Russia. It was pure business, a mission she had with cooperation between the Russian Ministry and the English one. The Russian missions were always hers, purely because of her heritage and status in the magical society. She was the perfect fit for the job, something that rather bothered her.  
><em>Stupid<em>_last__name_. It didn't make her the perfect one to run over to those posh and almighty Russian men who sat there, on their leather chairs, padded with swan feathers and what else they stuffed in their chairs to make their butt more comfortable.  
>Her moderate long heels made clicking noises on the stone floor as she made her way to the elevators, ready for that highly uncomfortable journey to her floor.<p>

Her closet-like office, stuffed with papers that surrounded her like pyramids, and her desk that took up half the room. The scrolls on her desk were covered in her own handwriting, ink stains here and there. Her hair was currently pulled back in a messy knot at the back of her head. She turned around in her moveable chair and looked out her enchanted window. She had chosen to see the world for "what it was" through this window, not just seeing a big sunny area, what was the point in seeing that, she would rather see the London for what is was, gray and rainy. A loud knocking noise came from her door as she turned around again, she held the quill in her right hand, tapping it on the edge of her desk.

"Come in." She sounded slightly sterner than she was supposed to and when the door opened and revealed a short man that made her smile immediately. His hair was raven black, eyes grey and he seemed slightly more awkward than usual.

"Robby, come in. Don't be a stranger." Her friendlier tone seemed to ease him as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

"Sorry for barging in at you at this ungodly hour of the morning-"he took a dramatically pause as he dragged a chair out of nowhere and sat down on it. "But I had to come and see for myself that the Russian mafias had let go of my pretty little redhead." She raised her eyebrow as he spoke and let out a carefree laugh.

"They basically threw me out when I started to talk, Robby! You should've seen the mess I made just by arriving. Would've thought that none had hoped to see me again." Her smile was slightly evil. It was no secret that she wasn't too keen on the tops in the Russian Ministry. Call it a misconception, it is what it is.

"No wonder, you've brought them a lot of inconvenience, Zar." He threw his legs up at her desk, ignoring the annoyed frown at her forehead as she studied his tailor made boots.

"I will kill you if those are dirtier than they look." She bended forward slightly and poked underneath his boots, examining them.

"Of course they're not dirty, you silly minx." The last word made her neck twitch as she looked up at him with a more annoyed expression.

"Didn't we have a conversation about this, Robert?" She used his name properly just to annoy him, something she made great success in.

"Oh, shut it. You are a minx! You just won't admit it, just like you won't admit that you took the Russian mission just to avoid seeing a certain mister MALFOY!" She wanted to grab him by the throat, and he saw that quickly in her eyes and rose up from the chair, holding his arms up, but now grinning like some evil overlord. "Touchy subject that is, isn't it?"

"I will… I will… Gah, ROBERT! Is it humanly possible to be so… incompetent?" She almost slammed her head down into the desk at her last word, so embarrassed that words wasn't enough.

"Chill, minx. I won't spill the goods to anyone, just stating the obvious. You're drooling at the gorgeous man, aren't you?" His tainting voice suddenly grew more anxious at his last word, not for her expression, but for something the both of them knew all too well.

"He is no good, doll. Please, realize that." Something unsaid laid between them, the both knew exactly what. "Shady man." His last words as he took one step closer to her again, he sat down, looking intensely at her.

"Don't you think I know, Robby?" Something heavy grew in her throat and stomach, causing her to look down into the desk. Of course she knew, she knew all those things that were said about Lucius Malfoy. The obvious things, like the fact that he was married to Narcissa, and the shady things that everybody thought about, but nobody said a word of.

"Please, Zaria. Don't do anything stupid; don't do anything you will regret." A prayer laid in his words and she looked up at him again. A small smile formed at the corner of her mouth.

"As if the man would throw another glance at me, Robby."

"He's been asking for you, didn't you know that?" Her eyes widened suddenly as she felt her heart drop seven inches.

Emotions rushing through her, one after the other, as if she was a black hole. Sucking the area dry. Confusion replaced by fluttering butterflies, butterflies replaced by guilt and something that stung deeper, fear. One thing was that this gorgeous meat of a man was asking for her, but the guilt came when she came to realize, for the 80th time this week, he was married. And had a son. _Bloody__hell._She shouldn't be drooling at a married man. And the fear… Fear for who he might be, the cruel man people thought him to be.  
>Was it bad of her to almost jump to a conclusion of him so fast? She didn't know. They didn't know. But where did the fear come from? She was a pureblood, an upper-class lady. It wasn't the fear of dying, merely the fear of seeing the evil for what it was. Evil shouldn't be here, she fled from evil. Maybe her beloved England held evil, evil in the form of a snake-like man and his cloaked "friends". She couldn't judge Lucius, not without knowing for certain.<p>

"Then why don't you turn around and spread the word that Zaria is back?" She tilted her head to the side, smiling barely noticeable. Robby got this weird expression in his face before he answered.

"Everybody knows, they see your curls at a long distance."


	2. Chapter 2

**To specify the time period: it's 1993. Cornelius Fudge is the Prime minister and Lucius is still 39 years old. Zaria is 25 years as mentioned in the last chapter. Any questions? **

**AND there is a lot of dialogue, but you'll survive that.**

******All credits to J.K.**** She is God, the creator. My little babies are just Zaria and Robby.**

Anxiety chased her; it took her breath away as it stung like a thousand needles at the inside of her head.  
><em>Calm down now, Zaria. He is just a human being. <em>The hell with that, he was a gorgeous, tall, broad-shouldered God of a man!  
><em>Great, just… Just stick with that and, for Merlin's sake, don't scream it out…<br>_She was standing in the middle of her messy office, as she had been doing for almost fifteen minutes. She was just staring out into the open air, trying to keep herself from hiding beneath her desk and pretend that she hadn't had that bloody conversation with Robby.  
><em>Bloody hell, Merlin's beard, stupidstupidstupid witch.<br>_Maybe she just should rip out all the hair on her body and run around like a maniac, by the feeling of her nerves it was about time now.  
><em>Silly witch.<br>_With that as her last thought she straightened her robes for the fifth time. It was about time to get out of her office! She could go down to the cafeteria, maybe buy herself a salad and pretend that her mind wasn't about to blow up at her. She considered tying her hair up, but only for three seconds before she threw the thought away like she had done with all the old newspapers on her desk. Seeing the I-am-trying-to-smile-but-I'm-an-old-bitch face of Cornelius Fudge on several of the newspapers had just made her vomit in her own mouth. Maybe they had placed them there on purpose, showing off their idiotic prime minister to her face.  
><em>Merlin's beard, she couldn't stand that man.<em>  
>With something that looked like calm steps, but weren't calm at all, she got out of her office, closing the door behind her with her face turned towards the door<em>.<br>Well, it was now or never.  
><em>Anxiety stung deeper now, but she tried to chase it away. What would they think if they saw Zaria, _the _redhead of the Ministry, walking around like some skiddish stray cat?  
><em>At least then they would finally get to justify the cat-calls.<em>  
>She turned away from the door with grudge deep down in her stomach. It was a growing monster, fairly small now, but at the end of the day that little monster would eat her up. Maybe she would have to force Robby to take her out for some coffee just to calm her down.<br>With fake confidence she strolled casually down the hallway, passing someone now and then. The only ones out in these hallways was those stressed out, feverish assistants who worked their butt off for a payment not worthy for any person on this earth. She shook her head, barely noticeable while she got into the elevator.  
><em>That horrific instrument.<em>  
>She mumbled that she was going to the common areas, and the hell of a journey started downwards.<br>_Good thing that I haven't had breakfast yet._

The enlightened room filled her mind with a sudden ease. It was as if a heavy burden had been lifted of her shoulders and she realized that she could breathe again.  
>The gigantic windows let in a slightly gray, but life giving, light. She closed her eyes for half a second, taking in the serenity she rarely felt in this ungodly ministry building. The whole area was empty. No stress, no manic assistants running their feet off.<p>

"Isn't this a tad early for lunch, Miss Romanov?" He caught her off guard, and she twirled around to face that God of a man.  
><em>Oh yes, very wide shoulders.<em>  
>His black robes didn't hide his well toned body and magnificent nature; the almost white hair framed his high cheekbones and steel gray eyes. Her mouth fell open for a moment as she searched for words that were fairly functional for this setting. And not completely retarded. Because that was what she felt she was now, mentally retarded.<p>

"I didn't eat breakfast this morning, Mr. Malfoy." She was pleased with her respond, but felt her knees shake slightly as he stared at her with an expression she couldn't quite make out.  
><em>Yeah, when we're talking about 'make out'… Oh by Merlin, stop it now!<em>

"Very well, then. Cornelius sent me to discuss the matters of the Russian agreement." He stopped talking and stared at her with that expression again. "So why don't you buy some breakfast and then we can discuss the Russian agreement at your office." She shrugged to seem less excited than she felt.

_Oh bloody hell, Merlin's beard, holy Woodstock! Lucius Malfoy at MY office! _

Fangirl? Not at all…

"Sure, I feel sorry for you though." She started to walk towards the rustic looking cafeteria. He rushed after her with his long legs, which made it seem like he didn't put any effort in it, while he was trying not to seem too curious of her statement by putting on his arrogant smile. And man, that arrogant smile was somehow attractive too. Was it bad of her to find him so attractive?

"Is it that boring?" He almost laughed of himself in an arrogant way, but she saw right through him.

"Yes, it's that boring." She grabbed a salad, paid and walked off with Lucius following her. Yes, it was probably bad to find him so attractive. And to want him so much. And… And… Gah, the message was clear, wasn't it? She should have bad conscience, _should've, would've, and could've… _

They headed into her complete mess of an office. A rather amused expression crossed his face as he studied the small, cluttered area. Scrolls were everywhere, her desk took up way to much place and somehow she had managed to splatter ink on the roof and the walls.

"Oh, what did you really expect?" She mumbled sarcastically as she almost fell down into the chair.

"Well, quite frankly, I expected our bosses to appreciate you more than this." Something she recognized as well-meant humor behind his arrogance made her smile, but only slightly.

"They proclaim that I spend too many months abroad per year." And that was why she rarely spoke to her bosses, and rather men like Lucius took reports from her work, she snapped each time her bosses mentioned the office-matter.

"That is a poor excuse! Maybe I should remind them of your good work and your good name." She blushed slightly as he spoke, which made triumph light up inside him.

"As if, Mr. Malfoy. Now here is my report on the new laws in Russia and how they will affect our relationship with them." She frowned as she spoke, as if the matters were disturbing enough to here. Well, they most certainly were.

"Interesting, and that will mean more trouble for you when you are over there?" It was pure business talk, but her own concert for what might happen affected the whole mood of the room.

"Most certainly, they're getting more hostile towards us all, especially people like me, people who has fled from Russia. Their new law will allow seeing us as traitors, someone who easily could be arrested for just stepping over the border." She was scratching the back of her head as she spoke, it was almost as if she spoke more to herself than to him. And she probably was, she was constantly reminding herself of this. It had not been on her mind earlier this morning, but it came back at her like arrows.

"Well, that will most certainly cause you a great deal of trouble." He was pushing the tip of his fingers towards each other as he spoke. Lucius Malfoy wasn't known for being good hearted and helpful, but her, and others knew that he was glad to help those he accepted. And there was the little problem; Lucius Malfoy didn't like many people, he was disgustingly picky at who he was going to smile at or who he was going to shove down into the dirt.  
>He seemed thoughtful and he didn't look directly at her, but rather at the piles of scrolls upon scrolls that took over most of the space on her desk.<p>

"That is without doubt, but I refuse to give up on my field of specialty; Russia." She was a very determinated when it came to what she wanted, and she was most certainly a focused woman. He looked at her now, recognition in his eyes, she was like him.

"And that is why I like you, Zaria." Silence laid itself upon them as a thick layer of dust. They just looked at each other. "And I will mention your way too small office. Have a nice day, Miss Romanov." And with that he left her office, that terrible and cluttered area.

The rest of her day had passed on as a passive aggressive blur. No wonder though, her mind had been in _blondie-land_(as Robby, so kindly, had proclaimed it.), and she had at least eleven different assistants at her neck; all of them forcing her to give an oral presentation of her report.  
><em>Idiots.<em>  
>Now she really didn't feel any pity, what so ever, for<span> any <span>assistant on this earth. At least in this ministry. They were all evil, she was utterly convinced this time.

"Now, gorgeous, it's time for some Irish coffee!" With a rather annoyed huff she got up from her chair. "You look like dead meat, minx. Maybe we should do tequila too?" With that she gave him a murderous look.

"I am working tomorrow, Robert! AND SO ARE YOU!" He jumped several steps backwards, raising his hands, fending himself from this pissed off woman. A sly smile suddenly covered her lips. "And I'm Russian, so we're doing vodka, baby."

An Irish coffee and a calm café had not lasted for long, more like… Half an hour. And after Robby had forced her into a knee-length black skirt and a green tank top with a black blazer. They had headed to a more "proper" bar. One shot of vodka had suddenly become two, and two had quickly turned into a full glass. Zaria wore rosy cheeks from the drinking, and her hair danced around her head to the beat of the not-so-important-band that was screaming out their lyrics through the speakers. Robby, her marvelous(everything was by the way marvelous right now) little darling, was sporting a very drunk look on his face, and she threw her arms around his neck.

"Darling, I should listen to you more often! This is great!" Robby's almost black eyes glimmered with his standard rascal character, now only so shitfaced that his eyes almost crossed.

"I've been trying to tell you, minx!" He shook his hips as he screamed at the top of his lungs. "I am so fucking fabulous!" She giggled as she let him go and headed for the bar with her empty glass.

"Vodka on the rocks, and be a darling and hurry." She leaned more forward than she meant to and while straightening up she tumbled backwards. Two strong hands caught her by the waist. She looked up and met the amused eyes of Lucius.

"Now, now, Lucius. It's way past your bedtime!" While giggling like some teenage tragedy she kept looking up at him, feeling a lot drunker than she knew that she was.

"Little miss, I'm way older that you." His charming smile made her eyes go wide and glittery.

"That's true." She took her drink from the bartender and kept looking at Lucius. While drinking the glass down in one mouthful she saw Robby emerging from the crowd with his uneven steps. Lucius only sighed.

"I will insist on taking the both of you kids to your own home. You are both working tomorrow." With a very united, and surprising, 'yes' the both of them agreed. Lucius sighed once again and Robby started to jump lightly over the floor. They were like drunken teenagers, one happier and sillier than the other one.

"You are _so _going to hate me tomorrow, minx!" With a giggle that fitted a teenager more than the dark Robby he turned around and winked at Zaria. Laughter bubbled up her throat, her head was all hot and her cheeks were almost burning by now. She was getting used to her most hated nickname now, but as a drunken little minx she couldn't care less if that's what he chose to call her. Quickly Robby blinked his eyes many times and jumped over to Lucius who was escorting them to the door. Poor Lucius, he was getting terrorized tonight.

"She actually hates being called a minx, but she _is _one! You should totally try to call her that when she is sober." His own words seem to excite him, but Lucius seemed to be quite amused actually. And she couldn't care less; she felt jolly good, warm and fussy.

"I will most certainly remember that, Robert." He opened the door and stopped the both of them. "First I will escort Robert, you stay _right _here, young miss Zaria." He pointed his finger at her and talked with a very strict voice, something that made her pout her mouth. She nodded and saw the both of them disappear in front of her.  
><em>Oh bloody HELL, he looks good and I'm stupid drunk.<br>_With a slouching noise she sat down on the ground, something she realized was stupid because of the frost, but hey… _Drunk. _A noise made her suddenly aware of the fact that there was a world around her, and her inner alert turned on. With a very confused look she tried to stand up at her legs again, slowly panicking as her body wouldn't completely respond and her limps was like those of a newborn hippogriff. Two hands grabbed her waist to stabilize her legs for a moment, and with a very unsure expression she looked up, but saw only the steel gray eyes of Lucius. She wasn't sure, but she thought she saw some kindness in them.  
><em>Am I that drunk? <em>  
>"I think you need to get home, Zaria." His voice was reassuring as he understood that she was in a fragile state of mind. She tried to calm herself, but it felt like her stomach was twisting around inside of her and her eyes was on fire, not in the crying way, but something else. Maybe exhaustion. She nodded and put one hand on his arm as they twirled around and got caught in the vacuum that didn't make her head feel any better. They landed in front of her mansion, the grey brick house that roamed over them and showed no goodness.<br>_Bloody house. _  
>She touched her temples and touched the look at the door. It opened up and she stepped inside.<p>

"I will be fine from here, I promise." A slight smile was at her lips as she turned around to face that dark angel of a man.

"Very well, then. I'll see you at work, Romanov." With that he disappeared, again. She closed her door and locked it. While shaking her head, which didn't make her feel any better, she thought of how confusing he was with all the things he was calling her. It was little miss, Miss Romanov, Zaria and just Romanov. Merlin's beard, some men were just… _Gah. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Well… yeahyeahyeah. All rights to J.K. Rowling. YUP. Sorry for the awful delay, but I left my notes at school during Christmas break. Aaaand I'm lazy. Well, this is what I could do for now, but there will be WAY more drama upcoming.  
>I've got a hangover, wooooooooh! <strong>

Her head was throbbing badly in the innocent morning light. The first proper snow of the year was falling outside, small particles of pre-Christmas joy.  
>As if she could feel anything else than her own nausea right now…<p>

_Holy fuck… By Merlin, why? Because you can be a little drunk, that's why. _

Somehow all those glasses of vodka had become this ungodly hangover. It was bloody unfair!

_Not really, gorgeous. _

She started to kick away the sheets, only to discover that they weren't there and that she fallen asleep fully dressed, even with her shoes strapped on.

_Bloody hell, Romanov._

She sat up quickly, ripping her high heels off her still sore feet, grabbing her wand and making the disgraceful rests of last night's makeup disappear. She felt like an utter wreck, a dirty, wet mop that been hung out to dry.

"Accio pain draught." With the same courage as she had had yesterday she turned the bottom up and finished it quickly. She would have to hurry up if she wanted to make it to work in time.

While wiggling her way out of her skirt and dragging her top off she ran rather ungracefully to the closet, something that was destined to result in a rather un-sophisticated date between her nose and the floor. Plus the throbbing headache, though it slowly was disappearing. A moan of aggravation escaped her throat as she felt like she was facing the whole bloody world.  
>How was it possible to all of a sudden turn all clumsy and teenage-ish? It was rather distasteful, her mother would've slapped her twice on her fingers if she had seen this. She wrinkled her nose as she pushed herself up from the floor.<p>

A green robe, cut to fit her shape like a glove, that would probably keep people from noticing her dreadful state of mind and… Hangoverness… While dragging the robe on she looked at the mirror. At least she didn't look like an utter mess; her eyes just had the touch of I've-been-up-for-three-days-straight.

Well, there was a lot of stressed out, wide-eyed wrecks who drank enough coffee to stay awake for two weeks, at the department. If Lucius kept his mouth shut this surely wouldn't… Oh… Holy… FUCK!  
>Anxiety hit her at the back of her head like some professional boxer. What the hell had she said to him last night? Had she made an utter fool of herself this time? With a moan she sunk down to the floor while covering her face with her hands. If she hadn't made a fool of herself, then Robby definitely had. She could recall the night in some way, just not what she had said. Terror filled her like blood to water. The substance was slowly filling out the space and it made patterns as it went.<p>

The night had been quite amusing and she recalled his hands on her waist… Saving her from falling on her drunken ass. Oh, what marvelous hands he had! Strong and firm bones covered in silky skin. With that image imprinted in her mind she got up from her knees and tied her hair up in a loose knot. It was as if all the anxiety had vanished from the face of the earth. It was just that memory of him, touching her. Warm roses turned her cheeks flushed and elves danced merrily beneath her ribs. Such a fantastic image to hold. Such a beautiful memory that was true! It didn't matter that he was just being nice, she was still blissful. With a simple charm she brushed her teeth and removed any smell of vodka. Luckily for her she didn't need to charm her eyelashes black, they were already dreadfully long and dark, something that she couldn't make up her mind up about if she liked it or not. Feeling slightly fresher than before she went downstairs to floo herself to work.

Something moved her guts disgustingly as she arrived at the ministry; the nausea returning at full speed. She held back the urge to hold onto her stomach with one hand. That would just look too stupid. Her heels clicked each time they met the stone floor. The noise blended easily into the great murmur of the crowd. A thousand robes moving swiftly across the floor, two thousand shoes hitting the ground like marching ants. Everything seemed so overwhelming this morning, the enchanted light coming from the roof was so intense, tantalizing, begging her to just die like a vampire with a sunburn.

_Properly fucked up, bloody hangover. _

It would be better to drag her tired ass to the office and wait for someone to force her into some bone breaking work.

_As if it's bonebreaking, you're just whiny. _

Lowering her head just a tad she kept pacing on, heading for the elevator.

"So there she is, the mistress of the night!" A far too jolly voice filled her way too small office as the door opened.

"You fuckin'… Get in and close the door!" Okay, she couldn't claim that she had the best verbal abilities when she had a hangover. And besides, she didn't want the entire department to hear what a minx she was when she had gotten one too many glasses of vodka down her throat. A hyena-like laughter was heard as Robby shut the door and grabbed his usual, and only, chair.

"You have a nasty language, minx." While winking to her he threw his well-polished boots on top of her desk. Apparently he dressed up to cover his hangover.

"And honestly what do you expect from me when I have a bloody hangover and you announce me as some mistress of the night in front of the whole department." She couldn't help but to flash her tiny little fangs, an agitated threat to him that she was in no mood for this kind of rubbish.

"Oh _honestly, _Z, it was so _not _the whole department! Only the one with all the horny old men." He quickly threw himself down from the chair to avoid a nasty spell that she had sent at him without giving it much thought. A burn mark formed itself on her door, which would not please her bosses. "Bloody hell, minxy! No need to burn my head off!" With his hands raised, palms forward, to surrender, he looked at her and were almost amused again.

"You are such a twat, Robert." She only muttered as she sunk down into her chair and threw her legs onto the desk.

"But honestly, minx, do you remember anything from last night?" He raised one eyebrow as he eyeballed her high heels suspiciously. She shook her head as her fingers gently rubbed her forehead.

"I don't remember much; just that Mr. Malfoy saved us from embarrassing our drunken asses." She rolled her eyes, slightly annoyed with the fact that she had behaved so improper. He nodded his head franticly while he sat down, now even more amused.

"Yes, I remember that!" And that's where his memory started and stopped, she guessed. She bit her tongue, wanting to disappear into the floor. Once again she shook her head and now she got up.

"Well, I have a suggestion. You go back to work and I'll get myself some well-earned breakfast." Her eyes gazed over the so called work she had done, not a damned thing to be honest.

With something that was supposed to look like a displeased and pouty face he got up from his chair and put both hands at his hips.

"As you wish, my dear little thing. Throw me out!" He backed up to the door and opened it slowly. "But I got to say, you are the hottest little Russian minx I've _ever _met." With and evil grin he shut her door and almost ran away.

_By Merlin, this would never end well. _

Okay, she had to remove those flushed cheeks, stop looking so damned… Agitated. With her chin raised she got up and walked out of her office. No way in _hell _that she was going to seem embarrassed by the things Robby said. She could feel their eyes in her neck as she walked down the hallway and the disgusting grins were almost to smell in the air.  
>You know they're grinning widely when you smell their morning tea.<br>This was one of the reasons why her department was rather… Displeasing. It had awfully many elderly men who would love to get their greasy fingers on a young woman. Well, no, sir! Not this… Minx.  
>She frowned a bit before she kept walking towards the elevators.<p>

"And may I ask why, Miss Romanov, you are everywhere?" A rather distinct smug, but amused tone came from her right side. The voice sent a little too well-known shivers down her spine and she turned her head slightly to get a better look at him. Well, one could say that Lucius had had his better days, the faintest shade of blue was under his eyes and they seemed to lack a certain sarcastic sparkle.

"I don't know Mr. Malfoy, mother used to call me a fairy. I appear when one wishes for it." With a rather posh tone she threw one last glance at the man, only to catch a smug smile from him. She started to walk towards the cafeteria and noticed easily that he was following her in a steady pace.

"Well, your mother must have been a very smart woman." She didn't need to turn her head to know that he had that charming-casanova face that the Malfoy men so easily could make. Without any expression on her face she got some salad and juice, and then paid for it. When she turned around he still stood there, now with his hands carefully folded behind his back.

"And what about you, Mr. Malfoy?" She raised her eyebrow slightly before she started to walk away, once again with him at her tail.

"What about me, miss Romanov?" He struggled slightly with adjusting his pace to hers. She had caught his interest and it seemed like it was more than before.

"Are you the kind of creature that appears when someone wishes to?" She got into the elevator, only to discover, to her pleasure, that he was following her. He looked at her for some seconds, unable to read any interest in her blank expression. Only when they got off the elevator he answered her, watching how she tried to hide that her knees shook slightly from the uncomfortable ride in the elevator.

"Maybe I am, Miss Romanov." He kept his tone neutral as they walked through the endless hallway. For the first fifty meters there were no offices, only yellow marble walls and chandeliers. She made a disapproving noise with her tongue. The next fifty meters were filled with offices, one of them were hers.

"Mister Malfoy, you disappoint me. A Malfoy that appears when other people wishes?" She made that disapproving noise again, something that gained a rich laughter from Lucius. It actually startled the whole damned department, silence filled the hallways. She rolled her eyes as she opened her door and let him in. He closed the door firmly as she approached her desk and sat down at her chair. She placed her salad at her desk along with her juice. "So, Mr. Are you going to give me a lesson in drinking-is-bad-for-you, or why were you stalking me into my office?" She took the fork and started to eat quietly while eyeballing him. He seemed to almost laugh again, maybe because he remembered the last night.

"Well, I seem to rescue you from your drinks quite often." He raised his eyebrows in a challenging way, obviously making her remember the first time he had rescued her.

"I wonder what your wife might think of you rescuing young maidens." She raised one eyebrow to accept his challenge in a way, though the both of them knew that none of them would insult the other in any way. He shrugged for an instant, watching her thoughtfully.

"She's not usually mad, I'm a gentleman. But you're a beautiful creature so if she knew she might try to chop my head off." She laughed now, something she rarely did in front of men, though it seemed to please him. She tilted her head before she loosened the knot in the back of her head, letting her red waterfall of a mane fall down her shoulders. He leaned back in the pathetic excuse of a chair and crossed his arms, slightly pleased of himself too. "But I am not here to discuss your obvious beauty, Zaria. I am here to declare that you have gotten a new office, a bigger one." He watched her eyes go wide as he spoke, until she got up from her feet, standing still for a minute before she sat down. In an extremely unladylike matter she shoved her fist in the air and got a smug smile.

"Finally! Oh my, Mr. Malfoy, I will not forget this." With something that seemed like a smile on butterfly wings she started to reorganize her scrolls, occasionally gazing up at him with a very grateful look.  
>He observed her whole behavior with great amusement, this little red haired thing that in one instant seemed so well put together and quiet and in the next so vibrant and vivid.<p>

"And you should really give up the whole Mr. Malfoy thing of yours when we're alone. Lucius is so much easier, and it's less formal." That Casanova face of his appeared once again on his completely flawless face.

The scroll she was holding in her hands as he spoke was laid gently in a bag by her desk. She chewed on his words for a few seconds, considering how he spoke and what he said. Once she had accepted his tone and words, and kept from blushing her brains out, she nodded.

"Very well then, Lucius." She laid extra weight on his name, but her eyes were wandering across the ceiling, avoiding him just slightly.

"Good, Zaria. But why don't you get your things packed quickly and I'll show you your new office." Like a strutting peacock he got up from the chair and looked around at the mess. Well, a mess of endless piles of scrolls and quills. She drew her wand and flickered it ever so slightly as she whispered the proper words for the proper spell. With that ever so delighted smug smile of his he watched the scrolls pile up in boxes and everything coming to a rather unusual order.

"You'll get a new desk and everything, so don't mind that ugly thing." He flickered his finger quickly and a houself appeared to take her things away. A weird fluttering sensation appeared in her stomach as Lucius laid a warm hand on her arm and led her to the door. "This is going to be wonderful, little Zaria."

"Rather marvelous, Lucius."

It was honestly rather marvelous. It was so open, fresh and delicate. White walls with a dark brown desk and a godlike chair of black leather. She had sunk down in it instantly, draping it with her crimson red hair and body in the green robes. A satisfied smile covered her lips as she gazed around her new office. It was three times bigger than her last one and here she had a proper and comfortable chair for visitors.

"Oh my." She mumbled as she leaned her head backwards, not noticing the smug expression covering his face as if nothing was more natural to him.

"I'm glad you liked it, I'll admit that I had to intimidate the bosses slightly. To mistreat you in that way was utterly improper of them." He seemed actually offended when he spoke, it sent chills down her spine. It was a new feeling, as if someone stood up for once in her life. And it was Lucius bleeding Malfoy.

"You have no idea of how much I appreciate this, Lucius." With her eyes suddenly glued to his she spoke with true sincerity. She would almost bow into the bloody dust for him if she had to.

"Oh, don't think about it, Zaria. It was a necessary thing to do." He sat down in the chair and started to rub his chin, thoughtful. "We're the same, it was a so-called duty." He nodded, as if he was agreeing with himself finally. They were the same? What did he mean by that? Her with her green eyes, crimson red hair and young age, and him with his almost ice blue, but grey eyes, snow white hair and 39 years of age. He was not that much older than her, but the whole person he was seemed so different from hers, yet slightly alike.

"And how do you see us alike?" She tilted her head and rested it in her hand as she observed his character. That Malfoy man.

"We're both too good for this place, filthy rich and… Well, how many wizards and witches have survived in an environment like the one we have witnessed? We have might not been at the same place, Zaria, but we have witnessed the same." His eyes of ice seemed even colder right now; as if something very old had been awakened within him. And she knew all too well what that coldness was. She wanted to break the eye contact they had, but it was impossible. She straightened her neck and folded her hands together.

"Where I come from is not common knowledge, Lucius." She kept her voice stern, ready to face anything he might say. She didn't want to hear any of this, yet she had yearned for this so long. Someone like her, someone who understood and most of all, someone who _knew._

"Well, when have I ever been a common person, Zaria." She shrugged, knowing he was absolutely right. He would know things about people, and when you thought of what environment he came from, it was no wonder that he _knew_. Once again she tried to break the eye contact, but somehow he knew that and a slightly understanding smile appeared on his lips. It mad her want to speak, to share all of her rotten guts with him, to share all the gore of her so well-polished life.

"And I know things about you, Lucius. I know where you're from and what you've struggled." The both of them measured each other, trying to see through the shield of the other ones mind.

"You're not a snitch, neither am I." He confirmed for the both of them what they knew and she nodded. To share something like this gave her a feeling of relief.

_Finally not alone._

"They would've thrown you out of here quite fast if they knew all of the truth, Lucius." She frowned ever so slightly. A sudden sting of worry hit her chest like a four inch needle.

"They would do the same to you. Unfortunately for them we're so good that they won't kick us out. I have the money, you have the good name." He laughed softly, almost unlike him. She agreed silently, not wishing to utter a single word right now. "You are different from other women, Zaria. I wish my wife was more like you." He seemed thoughtful again, but he didn't break their eye contact.

"That's a harsh thing to say, think of Narcissa." She raised her eyebrow as she spoke almost lecturing towards him. He smiled at her again, softly, as if he understood what she thought.

"I know that, Zaria. But you must know that my marriage with her was an arranged one, and the only feelings I have for her is family-like care. She is not very talkative, she closes herself in her own bubble and has no grasp of what I've seen and done. She only cares for her jewelry and mirror." His voice went deep, making her realize that it wasn't a sunshine marriage. She almost felt sorry for him, knowing that she too would've been married off and probably felt the same things he told her now.

"I understand, Lucius. Or at least I think that I do." She ran a hand through her hair and finally broke the eye contact. A disappointed sound came from Lucius as she stared down into the desk and drew circles with her finger.

"I don't want that for you, an arranged marriage." His sincerity was almost covering the disappointment that rung in his voice. She shrugged, once again.

"I would've survived it; it could've been good for me. That is if he could handle his vodka and sweet talk like a Casanova." Now she smiled smugly, satisfied with herself. He laughed loudly, for the first time that she had heard.

"Yes, just as good as you handle your vodka, I suppose?" He had a cheeky tone and winked at her as soon as he had gotten her attention.

"Yes, but it would be a shame if someone had to save him from falling on his drunken ass, like me." Her cheeks flushed slightly as she looked at him almost shyly, a bit embarrassed over the fact that he had saved her.

"I quite enjoy saving your ass." He shrugged and seemed ready to duck if she tried to throw something at him, but she just rolled her eyes while smiling.

"Next time I'll drink vodka somewhere I will not make a fool of myself." She nodded, agreeing with herself and gained laughter from him.

"You definitely have to tell me when and where that is, I do not trust you to cope on your own."


	4. Chapter 4

**All rights to J.K. Rowling, but Zaria and Robby is stiiill my babies. Well, I'm getting to have more fun with this and it's great that it's getting views! **

As soon as she had set foot on her property she knew that it would torment her again.

The memories.

With her eyes shut like a tomb she walked the Oh so familiar courtyard of her ridiculous big house. It was all in grey stones, an almost depressing sight at winter time. A mansion with its greatness in dark colours. The courtyard was decorated with hedges the height of almost two men, surrounding the isle that led to her front door, and the whole great courtyard that was now covered in snow. December 13th. There was one great fountain at the middle of the isle down to her door, it had a woman made of stone on top of it; gazing at the horizon, and as if she was waiting for someone long lost. Maybe she did, what did she know about such things? With a smile of a fool she entered her front door, that massive wooden thing covered in a creamy white colour. She could've gotten a way bigger mansion, but when she left Russia behind, she also left the old ways and the extravagance. Some may look upon her mansion and call it extravagant though, she understood that, but it was nothing like the place she came from. A castle-like mansion in pure white, and silver and gold decorating the whole inside.

She was the last one alive of her family, nobody knew what had happened to all of them, well, nobody except her.

_Of course she knew…_

The dark hallways that led to her living room were like a cavern. As usual she was not much for a bright home. She kicked off her shoes before entering the living room, not even sparing the dark area a look. Her feet led her to the usual and worn out chair that she loved so much at nights like these. How long had it been? Oh dear, her mother would slap her face if she didn't remember that. Hmm… Ten years. She had come to England when she was fifteen, two years after The First Wizarding War had ended. Her family had finally fallen within the walls of their own home.

_Finally. _

Was it bad to hold that thought in her head? The 'finally' about her family's death? Perhaps it was… But what good had they ever done her? Besides… They were better off dead. Her two brothers, both older than her, and her harsh parents. They'd been seen as the lucky ones, but Zaria never saw it that way. They were all doomed, with the money and the power along came the darkness and death.  
>If you were to lead a great war you would need great sources of money.<br>And their money had been a great source…

It was not the fact that her family had been a bank for wicked men that bothered her. Not so much at least, it was rather what she had seen and what had happened during that time. She had been four years old when the war started, so she could remember the whole bloody thing. She could remember those dark shadows of monstrous men in her living room back in Russia. How they had grinned and drank with her papa. They'd kept coming back for several years, kept giving her nightmares of dark monsters around the fireplace.  
>When she had gotten older they'd paid more attention to her also, not only her older brothers. They said she would be a good addition. It took another two years before they told her that she would get married to one of them. She had been around nine and a half years when they told her that. She had understood what they meant, of course she had. She was expected to know what a marriage included, and know that she would be a young bride. Somehow that was not the most disturbing memory she had from that time, it was rather the time she was brought out to <em>observe <em>that things started to mess with her head.

She had been nine and a half years old then. A young girl with crimson red corkscrews down her shoulders, a very childish face with big green eyes. She had still the childhood joy in her eyes, playful and silly like every nine year old should. They had taken her away from mama for some hours; they had taken her, her brothers and papa for a little trip. It had been something she wished she had never been a part of. She should've run away when they came, flee like some petty rat… But she didn't do that, sadly.

They'd taken them into the woods. Dark trees like giants in the wind. It had been a terrible weather that night; she could remember it to the smallest detail even now. They stood in the clearing, dark trees surrounding them as if they'd been enchanted to imprison anyone within. The rain had been pouring for days and left the ground to resemble a sump-like area with huge water pools here and there. There had been the smell of wet dogs, but she knew even then that it couldn't be real dogs.

People surrounded and metal in the air.

It wasn't them that had been surrounded; they were only standing on the sideline and watching those things, those actions. There were four women, five men and two small children. Three of them were already lying on the ground, though not set free from their fleshy prison. The piercing sound of children in torment was still clear to her. The bodies were only a blur now, but the metal in the air and the pale flesh covered in red was burned in her mind; she would never be able to free herself of those memories.

She had been nine and a half years old when she had been forced to face the torture and slaughtering of eleven mudbloods. She had been at that age when they forced her forth from her family to see clearly what they had done to those people. One of the children hadn't even died then; he had died in front of her eyes. The laughter of wicked men rung like hoarse barks in the storm. She had lost her childish innocent that night, lost some foothold to the real world then.

Her lids were heavy as she had the feeling that something was happening. Her body was unusually hard to move and something was tugging at her leg.

"Miss Romanov, my dear miss Romanov!" A squealing voice awakened her quickly and she stared down at the wrinkly face of Stubby, the house elf.

_The thing is back. _

"Oh, Stubby, you're back." While rubbing her forehead with two fingers she strangled an annoyed moan. That little thing was an over-achiever - as every other house elf -, but Stubby was even more annoying than the most ass kissing creatures in this world. A sweet little thing sometimes, but not often enough.

"My dear Miss, there is an important mister in the hallway! I let him in since he got mad at little Stubby." He let go of her robe and started to look at his feet with an insecure expression, a little too ready for a kick that he knew never would come. She didn't kick house elves.

Her mind sharpened slightly at the mention of an important mister in her hallway. She raised her eyebrows slightly and got up from the chair she had fallen asleep in.

"You did well, Stubby. Prepare some tea for two now." Beaming with joy the house elf disappeared. While straightening her curls she walked towards the hallways, not really knowing who to expect at her mansion now. At this hour, it was almost nine pm, who on earth would come by now?

The man standing in her hallway was no surprise, though it would've been a couple of days ago. He was standing there tall and strong, though his face seemed more haunted than ever.

"Lucius?" She raised one of her eyebrows as he looked at her and revealing a faint smile.

"Forgive me for intruding you at this hour, but I didn't expect you to be asleep." His voice seemed slightly apologizing, so she accepted it and made a gesture for him to follow her.

"Don't worry about that, Lucius. I fell asleep in my chair. Come in now." She kept a soft voice so that he would accept her offer, and so he did. "I'm just surprised that you came by, that's all." She took him into her living room and waved her hand so that the chandelier and candle lights around the walls were lit. It was weird for her to see her home lit up in its gloominess, but she preferred that her visitors came to a house that you actually saw something in.

"You live here all alone?" He sounded slightly surprised, no wonder though. The place was enormous, especially for one small woman.

"Yes, it's just me and my house elf." She dismissed him ever so slightly and sat down in the chair she had almost just awakened from. The tea appeared with a house elf on light feet.

"Can Stubby do anything more for his Miss?" the hopeful little creature beamed as he watched his mistress, avoiding the snow white man for his dear life. That man was bad, Stubby knew.

"No, Stubby." She dismissed the house elf and poured some tea for Lucius. As the house elf disappeared once again Lucius opened his mouth.

"It seems so big for a delicate creature as yourself." He nodded his head in appreciation as she finished his tea and poured her own. She shrugged and put away the tea pot only to lean back and look at him.

"I like it, and then I have many places to hide." He observed her as she spoke, that fragile little creature that surprised him now and then with her ability to seem so tough. Her hair was slightly messy at the moment and he could easily envision how it would be to wake up at morning with her. Red curly hair slightly wild, not as sleek and elegant as it usually was, and eyes drunk on sleep. Such a pretty sight, almost adorable.

"You have the urge to hide, Zaria?" He lifted one corner of his mouth as he watched her reach out for her cup and take a sip.

"It's an old instinct." Something glimmered in her eyes and he had the feeling that she also had had a rough day today. He had definitely had a rough day, mostly after work. These past nights had gone to thinking, all those damned thoughts! All those memories throwing themselves at him and of course the thought of knowing someone that knew what that world was like. That world, so close to pure evil. To know someone who _knew _those things, which _knew_ and was so very young and beautiful.

"Yes, I guess it's an instinct people like us have." The faintest smile was at the corner of his mouth, it wasn't heartfelt and she knew it. He liked to talk about those things they knew it seemed, but his whole posture and voice changed when he talked about it. It was tormenting for him, she knew that, because it was tormenting for her too.

"I'm just glad that you're not one of the men that kept coming to my house during my childhood." She stared down into her teacup, watching that medium dark substance barely showing her reflection. This setting would be completely different if Lucius had known her since she was just a little kid.

"I guess we're lucky with that one." He blew out the little air he had in his lungs and took another sip, considering how things would've been between them if he had been one of those who brought her family into that blood-filled hell their world had been. He hesitated for a moment, unsure if he could ask her the question he had on his mind. "Did they ever hurt you, Zaria?" Concern was clear in his voice, maybe she was lucky about whom she was. She wouldn't have gotten his concern if she were a petty mudblood, not even if he wasn't one of those haters; it was just what he was raised to believe, to know and how to act.

"They didn't hurt me physically, but mentally… Well, that's another history." She finished her tea and set the cup on the table again, too afraid if her hands would slip it. A frown appeared at his forehead and she felt like she needed to reassure him that his fellow _comrades_ hadn't gone used occlumency on her. "Relax, they didn't hurt me on purpose. It was just that I was forced to watch a lot of slaughtering, and their constant reminder that I was to marry one of them one day." She rolled her eyes; she would forever find the idea of marrying one of those damned men awfully ridiculous.

"I see… I can imagine how that would scar your mind." His forehead was still frowned, almost as if he didn't want to accept what she said. But hey, who wanted to accept the fact that children were forced to watch other people die, watch all the slaughtering.

"Neither of us had fortunate roles in the war, Lucius." She hesitated for a moment, watching him with intense eyes. "But I believe that it happened for a reason. You were not meant to be a regular man, and I was not meant to become a normal woman with a good childhood. What were we to learn from this? I don't know. But I want to believe that it had a purpose, 'cause if it didn't…" Once again she hesitated, feeling the grudge rising from her stomach and up her throat. "Well, then I don't want to live on this planet." They remained their eye contact as she spoke; he felt the emotions running through something that others would see as cynical voice.  
>Many saw Zaria as a slightly cynical, but vivid and a well put together woman, she had something unknown in her and that was what made people yearn for her. But he could see through her sometimes, especially now. She was hurt, alone and afraid. She didn't have anyone in this world, only herself and her thoughts. It made him want to be there for her even more; he truly needed it as much as she did. For wasn't he alone in this world? He wouldn't see himself as afraid, and he had his family though they made him feel even more like he didn't have anyone in this world.<p>

"You might be right, Zaria. I hate to admit it though." The muscles around his nose twitched as if he had swallowed something sour. "Maybe it had a purpose, but I don't see it yet." He broke the eye contact as he took a sip of his tea.

"But really, Lucius, why did you come here tonight?" She had almost forgotten the fact that he had shown up in her mansion without telling her why. He seemed to hesitate, but put his cup on the table and looked at her again.

"I guess my own thoughts were eating me up, I needed to just _see_ someone who knew about all this hell, and not just my wife who looks at me with disgust as soon as I drift away in my own thoughts." Harshness was in his voice when he spoke about Narcissa. Well, she understood the feeling of being condemned by those who were supposed to be there for you. She knew all too well of the promises of unconditional love because they're supposed to, but in reality they only cared for themselves and would rather sell you out to evil than to show you a tad of affection.

"Why am I starting to resent Narcissa." The muscles around her nose twitched as she spoke, she truly disliked the thought of him being trapped with someone who acted like that. A wife shouldn't be disgusted by thoughtfulness, but then, they were probably not even in love, and neither had ever been. He laughed softly at her words, feeling that she was slightly naïve, yet not at all. "You deserve a better wife."

"And you deserve more than loneliness." She shrugged at his words, now smiling slightly.

"Touché."

He had left late that night and it made her happy even now the morning after, 'cause one could say that she finally had a friend. It was rather new for her, all she'd had in this world was Robby, and Robby was something else than Lucius. Lucius was the gorgeous God of a man who knew what she had been through, Robby was her gay best friend who'd just make her smile, but didn't know how things were inside her head.  
>But for once she had a day off, on a Saturday! The plan was to travel to Hogsmeade with Robby for some coffee and good old fashion shopping. With a head that were much lighter than yesterday morning she dressed up in light green robes, slightly more flashy and proper for everyday use than her work robes. They were still elegant, but more vivid. She decided to let her hair be down for today and slipped into high heeled boots. No need to freeze when she would walk a little bit outside. With more energized steps she got into her fireplace and flooed herself to the Leaky Cauldron.<p>

Robby was waiting for her in the shabby bar, that bar had always been slightly disgusting to her. Maybe because of the people that staid around here was… Well, how does on put a nice word on it? Well, disgusting. There were filthy, disgusting and perverted witches and wizards here. With quick steps she approached Robby and grabbed him by the arm.

"Minx!" The overly happy tone of Robby spread across the whole bar, but she just smiled and got him up at his feet.

"Hey, Robby! Come now, I'm impatient." Yup, impatient to get her ass out of this bar before someone opened their mouth about how redheads were. Robby seemed to understand, though he loved a good redhead-joke he got up on his feet and followed her out the back way and to the brick wall that led to Hogsmeade.

"You seem unnaturally cheerful today, Minx." He grinned as he watched her tap the bricks with her wand and an opening appeared so that they could walk straight into the crowded village.

"Is it something wrong with being happy, Robby?" She smiled as she started to walk straight to the Hog's Head. Well, she didn't like the Leaky Cauldron and the Hog's Head was a little to alike, but at least it had less people, the people who went there wanted to avoid nosy idiots.

"Oh please, do we _have to _go to The Hog's Head?" And it was not Robby's favorite place.

"Shut it, Robby, I'm buying." And that made everything much easier! The dark haired man immediately grabbed her arm and dragged her towards the shabby bar. That was the trick with Robby, offer him some free firewhiskey and he would do anything for you. With a huge grin on her face she walked off chatting nonsense with her friend, it felt like it was years since she had had such a burden lifted off her shoulders.  
>They walked into the bar still smiling, there were only two tables occupied, something that fit her rather well. They headed for the one closest to the corner and sat down. She always felt like a contrast to this bar. Crimson red hair and green robes to a gray and dirty old bar. Well, people wouldn't bother her here unless they were looking for serious trouble. She felt eyes on her, but nobody except Robby spoke to her anyway. There were usually a lot of scums here, people who were socially rejected. A Death Eater now and then and most of them realized who she was. Who could ignore her crimson red hair, and some of the inner circle, those who'd snuck away from jailtime knew what her family had been supporting. She wasn't such a fan of what the Death Eaters had done, but they didn't know that. All they knew was that she was a Russian refugee, fleeing from her own past. Such a shame, a pretty little bird fleeing from what she could've been. But she couldn't have been what they were now, didn't they realize that? That time was over, the war had been over for a long time and they couldn't force her anymore. She was no puppet! She was a woman who could choose her own damned future.<br>Someone approached her, one of the usual at this bar. A hooded creature of a man, many were dressed like that in here.

Robby had disappeared for a moment to order some firewhiskey.

The man leaned down at the table on his elbows, a foul and almost rotten smell emerged from him as he came that close. She refused to show any fear, which would just put fuel on the fire.

"I remember you." A hoarse voice, it held something old, something she knew somehow. She leaned back in her chair and drew her wand as if it was nothing unusual. While she held it in front of him, a silent threat, he didn't make another noise. As if her move didn't really surprise him. She didn't look away from his hidden face; to look away would probably be a bad move.

"You don't seem like a person _I'd _like to remember." She hissed at him, still with her face perfectly calm and unaffected. She tilted her head slowly as she raised her wand even more so that she easily could blow his face to pieces. He laughed now, a hoarse and bitter laughter. Something that was even more familiar.

"Of course not, my Russian princess." He reached out for her wand for a moment, but her green eyes warned him not to do it if he wished to keep that hand. "You should be careful, _kinslayer._" Her eyes widened ever so slightly as he whispered the last word. With more force than she knew she had in her she got up from her chair.

"_Locomotor mortis_." His legs immediately locked together and he fell onto the floor. Robby came running back, but she blew him completely off. A severely deformed face met her, as if he had been burned and cut open at once. A frown appeared between her eyebrows as she tried to open her mouth. "… Wilkes?" She whispered as she watched the man. The man who were supposed to be dead, killed by aurors before Voldemort's downfall! How could that plague rat be _alive? _Her knees shook slightly.

_It meant that Wilkes knew about that thing… _

She felt her mind panic as she stared down at his deformed, angry face.

_He had to die._


	5. Chapter 5

**All rights to J.K. Rowling!**

**Okay, messed up a little at the last chapter. Forget the leaky cauldron and the brick wall, I wrote it at school and I'm just… messed up, hahaha. I'm glad you seem to like the story though, much appreciated! **

… _Kinslayer… _

It was a hasty blur, Robby tried to take her wand, only to get it aiming at his nose. She blocked out all their voices, she was just staring at Wilkes.

_Damned Wilkes. _

"None of you will squeal about this, you understand?" She let her eyes away from Wilkes to observe the few people inside the bar, the bar owner, the four men and Robby. Robby seemed to only focus on the fact that his Zaria had her wand aiming at him, and at that moment it seemed that she realized this too and pulled it away.

"We don't get along, now stop gawking and get back to your own damned business!" The well put together Zaria hissed so much that everyone turned their head just so that they would avoid her poison ivy eyes. Robby seemed to only stare at her hand still, though her wand was lowered and she probably had no intention of blowing up his head.

"Zaria, we are going. _Now._" With some suspicion he grabbed her arm, dragging her ever so carefully out of the bar and away from the grotesque man she had attacked. _Why _had she attacked him? He hadn't even seen what just had happened… He stopped abruptly when Zaria yanked her arm away from him and threw a coin purse on the counter without even looking at the bar owner. Well, the lady knew how to please a bar owner. He grabbed her arm again, not risking the chance that she would change her mind and kill the man on the floor.

_It sure looked like she was about to kill him… But could my Zaria murder anyone? No, of course not… But what if? _

The thought was disturbing to him and he led the dark eyed woman out of the bar. He had never seen her eyes in such a dark shade. He'd seen them glimmer like the reflection of forest and sun in water, he'd seen them fill with fog as if she was leaving him and her own body, but never had he seen them like this. She had this cat-like expression. Like one of them furious big cats with their pupils fully dilated. He would be the first to admit that Zaria was a very scary woman sometimes, but never like this. It was as if… He didn't know what it was, but there was _something_ very wrong. Luckily there were not many people out right now, only them, a couple others and the snow falling down from the sky. He grabbed her by her shoulders and stared right into those dark pits, determinated to get a hold of his best friend.

"Zaria Romanov, you are to look me in the eyes and snap back _right now!_" For the first time in his life he was strict with that feline. She was rather terrifying right now to be honest, and he saw something in those deep pits that he had never seen before. But _what _was it? She stared right into him and he couldn't figure out what was on her mind. "And now you've gone mute?" She just kept staring at him with that blank look, but he still saw _something _in there. As he understood that she was not going to answer him he sighed and held her arm while he apparated back to her home. He was one of those who she'd given full access to her home, so he apparated straight into her living room. "Consider some light, love." He mumbled as he so to speak pushed her down into her chair. He left his mute little feline and started to push away curtains. He needed some light. The place was spotless, thanks to Stubby_. Wait… Stubby… _Maybe Stubby knew how to make his mistress speak again. He headed straight out to the hallway and navigated his way through the dark green walls towards the kitchen. He entered the pretty massive area, a big kitchen in an old fashioned style. It suited her, but still it was so empty. It was the only place in the house that didn't have these gigantic three meter high curtains to cover the windows and block out the light. He didn't know why she kept it so dark at her home, at the office she liked the light, and she liked a bright environment. That woman was a walking mystery, sadly for him and everyone around her.

"Stubby?" He called out softly, by some reason he didn't want Zaria to hear him. It might cause him some trouble, though he was only trying to help her.

"Sir Robert?" The crooked little creature appeared out of a small door that led to his own little house. Those big, gray eyes stared at him as if he begged him to give him a task, Robby knew all too well that Zaria wasn't too fond of ordering the creature around. Stubby actually seemed to annoy her, why? He didn't know.

"Your Mistress is not herself, she refuses to speak to me. Do you know how to make your Mistress speak again?" He hoped that the house elf actually knew, that would be rather amazing. He needed Zaria to speak, he knew that something was terribly wrong.

Her mind was a mess, not even Robby's dark and sincere eyes had made her clear up. He was familiar, he was safe, but she couldn't come out of her own world. The sight of Wilkes had brought forth memories she didn't want.

_He was supposed to be dead. FUCKING DEAD! _

She was screaming at herself from within, wanting to rip her hair out, wanting to smash something; maybe herself. Her fingertips were trembling, Robby just didn't notice. He just looked at her, observed her and left her in her chair. She barely noticed the light; her mind was stuck in the dark rooms back in Russia.

_Kinslayer_…

She didn't want to remember, tears that didn't fall from her eyes were pouring within. She wanted to start shaking, _something, anything! _Blocking it all out was so unbearably hard… Blocking out the stained carpets, the fragments… The pieces… The smell… Something had snapped, but she didn't want to remember it. To remember it meant that it was real. And it all came back because of a Death Eater who was supposed to be _very _dead. She felt her hands grip around something, probably the chair. She couldn't control her body; she couldn't make it do anything she _wanted. _There was no way to save her now, memories were rushing back; the memories of her own actions. Unspeakable actions.

"Mister Robby, Stubby thinks he knows how to make beautiful Mistress speak!" The creature squealed of pure joy, that thing sorely needed more to do, and this was _perfect _for Stubby. "Mistress Zaria talked a lot with a man, for many hours! But Stubby didn't listen, nononono… Stubby only heard that Mistress was happier than he'd heard her in ages! Oh yes, Mistress seemed sad and happy at the same time!" The eager house elf beamed with joy as he spoke things that confused Robby. Did Zaria host male company? Well, it seemed like it. And somehow he had a feeling who it might be, but it seemed so absurd at the same time.

"Stubby, _who _is this man that makes our Zaria happy?" He considered to get down on his knees so that the house elf understood the seriousness of this situation, but that would probably freak the creature out so much that it would cook five feast meals, clean the house eight times and cry like a child at his Mistress's feet. Because that had actually happened before. The house elf looked like he were about to deliver some royal message as he crossed his arms behind his back and raised his little chin.

"It is Mister Lucius Malfoy, sir." A slight disgust lay in the name as the elf spoke it, but Robby ignored it. He dismissed Stubby quickly and ran out of the kitchen, up the stairs to the office.

_Lucius Malfoy? What was that ex-death eater doing close to his Zaria? _

With some confusion Robby took out a blank scroll, ink and a quill. He was slightly unsure of what he should write, but it had to be something that would make Lucius arrive in a heartbeat.

_Mr. Lucius Malfoy._

_Due to an occurrence involving Zaria Romanov earlier today I write to you to ask for help. The house elf claims that you and Miss Zaria get along, and somehow I believe you know her better than me. The occurrence has left Zaria in a position which she will not respond to me in any way, I believe that something is terribly wrong. If you could, I would forever owe you, would you come to her mansion quickly? _

_My dearest apologies for the disturbance, Robert Lockwood. _

To write the damned thing was an embarrassment, but it was worth it. He sealed to letter and got up to get the black owl in the corner of the room.

"I know you and I don't get along, but be nice right now." He hissed as the owl tried to bite him while he fastened the letter to his legs. "And get your feathery ass over to Lucius Malfoy now." With that he opened the window and sent the owl out. _Now he could only hope.  
><em>

A dark creature came soaring down towards an open window in an extravagant mansion. The whole place had a grandness of a different era over it. It was none others than the mansion of Malfoy. A place filled with pompous arses(at least that was Robby's view on it) and overly expensed bushes. The dark creature gave a rather rude sound as it stared down the full grown Malfoy in the room. The owl wasn't much for waiting, and everybody would know that by its dreadful behavior. Lucius Malfoy studied the black creature, an Eurasian Eagle Owl enchanted to bear black feathers instead of their rich reddish color. Though the red-brown eyes were the same as they would've been, only now they stood out even more and it made the creature seem like some annoying evil from another dimension. Or just a thing that he Russian Ministry would own, they liked things that scared weaker people, owls that would gladly pick your eyes out. He got up from his chair and headed over to the owl that stood in the window post. It had a small letter bound to its leg and he released it from it, only to quickly give the creature a treat so that it wouldn't bite him; 'cause it sure looked like it wanted to. It flew off quickly, obviously not waiting for him to compose a respond to his master or mistress. With a sudden frown between his eyebrows he opened the letter and sat down in his leather chair. He quickly read what seemed to be an overly nervous handwriting. Robert, he knew that rascal from the night he found him and Zaria in a bar, and of course from watching him walk after that doll with a puppy-like fondness. He wasn't too fond of Robby, even though he was clearly as gay as a daisy he saw him as a… Rival.

_But occurrence? _What did he mean by an occurrence? He didn't like the thought of Zaria being in distress so he threw the letter into the fireplace and got out of his office. It was the only place in the house that wasn't overly extravagant, it was his place and only his, and he didn't need silver and draperies in a room where he would write important letters. It wasn't a room for women! That was at least what he kept telling Narcissa so that she would keep her overeager decorating hands away from the only place in this mansion that only belonged to _him. _The thought of his dim-witted, sarcastic, ever-complaining, loner of a wife made something boil in him, as if he were to growl like a wolf in any second. But he couldn't, he were to act composed and good around his wife. He'd prefer to divorce her, to be honest, but that seemed a tad drastic at the moment. It wouldn't be right to his son, not yet. He would only divorce Narcissa if they ended up with so much trouble that Draco was affected by it. Honestly, the only good thing he had got out of his marriage was that kid.

Without paying attention the living statue that glared at him with its arms crossed he walked out the door and apparated without explaining her what was happening. He didn't owe her anything, if he was lucky she would ask to divorce him first.

_Not likely, Lucius, she is too keen on your money. _

He appeared at the isle leading through the high hedges that reached almost all the way towards Zaria's door. One meter was spared on each side so that a trail could lead itself in each directions of her door, leading to each its side of her grand garden. He walked past the fountain with the girl standing on top of it. She was in life-size, a beautiful little thing that had reminded him of Zaria from the first moment he had seen it; not in its appearance, but the look in her eyes. As if she was searching for something, searching with sorrow she didn't even know she had.

_She couldn't tell Robby._

Maybe that was what had forced her mind to close down like this? That natural instinct to keep her mouth shut and not spills her guts for the whole world to see them? And he couldn't know, he _couldn't _learn the truth of where she came from, what she came from. He couldn't get to know those dreadful words.

_Kinslayer. _

He couldn't know, not for all the gold in this world. She had to keep her memory from coming back in full speed, keep from telling him everything. Why was she repeating this? She knew that she couldn't tell him, she knew that. But still she seemed so confused, scared, _desperate_.

He knocked on the door with a heavy feeling in his chest. Somehow he could feel that something wasn't right, of course he'd known that since Robert told him in that letter, but the closer he got to her, the more intense the feeling of despair became. The door was opened quickly, the ever so cocky, but boyish face of Robert Lockwood seemed even more boyish now, as if he had lost ten years and was lost in this world or something. To say it simple; the man was petrified and looked like he was on the edge of falling down on his knees and start to weep. He showed him in with slight eagerness, which was obviously not dulled by his state.

"Tell me now what has happened." He was a tad harsh on Robert, as if he was speaking to a child. The dark haired man looked to each side with hasty movements before he signaled Lucius to follow him down the hallways that led away from the living room that she spent most of her time in. Robert obviously didn't want Zaria to hear what he had to say, by some reason he believed Robert to be afraid of Zaria. Maybe he was, but Lucius hadn't seen Zaria as a creature to be afraid of. But what did he know; he hadn't spent too much time with her outside of the ministry.  
>Robert led Lucius into the kitchen and closed the door carefully before exhaling with some relief.<p>

"To be honest, I don't really _know _what went down at The Hog's Head." With a confused expression he sat down at one of the kitchen chairs. There were four chairs and a very small table, Lucius sat down next to him, knowing that this might take more than two minutes. "She seemed alright when I left the table to purchase some firewhiskey, I might've taken a few minutes longer than I thought I would… I mean, I did talk a little with the bartender. The man is decent enough. I didn't expect anything to be wrong, but suddenly I heard her say the leg-binding spell, and something heavy fell to the floor. I turned around to see Zaria aiming her wand at this ugly man, he was so… Deformed, his face was so deformed. It looked like she was about to _kill _that man, Lucius." He didn't mind using his name for once and a frown lay deep between his brows. He didn't see the pupils in Robert's eyes; they were completely gone in that brown-black darkness of his iris. Somehow he could believe that Zaria would've been able to kill, but the situation of it all seemed disturbing. He let Robert continue. "I tried to get her away from him, but then she aimed her wand at me. From that moment I knew that there was something seriously wrong. No matter what I said could she snap out of it, she didn't even see me, she looked through me for two seconds before she stared at that man again. The last words I heard her utter was a threat that nobody should squeal and that her and this man didn't get along. I dragged her out after she finally lowered her wand. I couldn't get her to respond me; she was only staring at me with dark eyes. I don't recognize her, Lucius. She won't respond!" He sunk down a couple of inches, seeming to wish to disappear. Lucius hesitated for a moment before he let out a sigh.

"I will _try _to talk to her, Robert." He got up from his chair, not wanting any respond from that little man. He still saw Robert as a rival, but he cared for Zaria, so he would do as he was asked. He walked down the long hallway, dark green tapestry with silver swirls and cameos. The whole mansion was so dark, not only the living room. It was as if she wished to live in a cave, but settled for a house instead because of a naggy house elf. His cloaked brushed the floor behind him, making a swishing sound as he quickly walked towards where he knew she was.

In that chair, as always.

The light came so sudden that he felt blinded for a short moment, it was probably Robert who had pulled the curtains away. He could see her easily; light green Robes and hair waving itself down her chest. Robert was right; it didn't seem as if it was Zaria. Her eyes were much darker than before and they were just staring pointlessly into the unlit fireplace.

"Zaria?" He stopped in front of her and sunk down so that he could meet her eyes. Something happened in there, but it was still as if she didn't recognize what was happening around her. "Zaria, my little doll." He touched her knee with two fingers, something that seemed to send electrical waves through her and she suddenly stared at _him _and not the air. It was as if he had woken a sleepwalker.

"Lucius?" She frowned ever so slightly as she looked at him.

"Robert asked me to come, what is wrong, doll?" He tilted his head, trying to make her slightly suspicious eyes trust him, and they did. She nodded as she stood up on shaky legs.

"Then we are not going to talk here, Lucius." She started to walk out of the living room on slightly unsteady legs, knees shaking like October leaves.  
>He followed her quickly, ready to catch her if her legs choose to fail. She was heading up the stairs faster than he thought was possible. With one brow raised he walked slightly slower and more composed up the stairs. He knew that what she was going to tell him were not for Robert's ears, which might also be why she had locked herself up in her own head. He supposed that there were things she didn't tell Robert, which certainly made him feel better, because she was about to tell him instead of her best friend, <em>ahhh, the victory!<em>  
>He entered her room, which certainly was the brightest area he had seen in this whole house. He wouldn't go into details on it, it was just… White light, almost shocking. She seemed so angel-like, a fragile little crimson doll that sat there at the edge of her bed, enlightened by the pale beams of the December sun and white walls. He stepped in front of her, not daring to sit down beside her. "He is alive, Lucius. That rat, Wilkes, is <em>alive.<em>" The muscles around her nose twitched and gave an animal-like impression of her. He sighed, wanting to be the one to disappear now. To be honest, he didn't know all the things Wilkes had done. Wilkes had been a downright rat that had travelled a lot for the dark lord, but by the way she spoke he suspected that she knew him a little too well. "… And you don't seem surprised." Her dismissive tone made him flinch just a little bit, he struggled to look at her, but failed.

"I knew that Wilkes was alive. I've always known." His voice was monotone; he wouldn't allow himself to go all weak just because she was upset. "And I didn't know why you bear a grudge against him, so I didn't know that I had to inform you of him." Now he succeeded with looking at her, facing eyes that seemed only hurt, not mad. He sunk down on his knees in front of her, making her slightly taller than him now. "Is Wilkes one of the men that hurt you, Zaria?" She nodded, making his fears come alive. If he had known that Wilkes would in any way hurt a creature like Zaria, he would've killed him decades ago. He'd known that Wilkes wasn't a goody-two-shoe, but he didn't exactly suspect the man to torment children. He lowered his head for a moment, exhaling heavily. He let his hands find hers, just to let her know that he was sorry. It was one of the hardest things about being a former Death Eater actually; sometimes he would meet these beautiful souls that had earned all the respect in the world, and then he'd come to realize that his world had brought them down to their knees. There were many things about his former life that didn't embarrass him that much, but tormenting children and ruining their life was something he'd never be proud of. Mudblood of pureblood, _a child was a child. _"I swear by all my magic, Zaria. If I'd _known_… If I'd _known _that Wilkes had ever hurt a child, and you, he would've been dead by now." And it was the truth. Children were innocent; one didn't inflict mental or physical damage to children. They were pure. When he looked up at her he could see that her mind had drifted off again, leaving him behind in this world. He couldn't see if the world she faced was full of monsters, or if it had more peace than this world. She opened her mouth, filling him with anticipation of what she might say.

"I was going to kill him today, Lucius." She swallowed heavily, though not facing the real world just yet. It was as if those emerald green eyes had fog within them. "He told me he remembered me, he told me to be careful." She tilted her head ever so slightly, fluttering her eyelashes without even noticing it for herself. "He was about to reveal what I've done, my past. _He knew._" And with that it seemed like she had run dry, not having another word to speak. He tightened his grip around her two small hands. What did she mean by that? Suddenly he could see small fragments of tears welling up in her eyes and her mind seemed to face this world again. "I've done terrible things, Lucius." Her voice became thin and her hands started to shake.

"What terrible things, Zaria?" He was confused now, but kept his voice low so that he wouldn't make her shut completely down again.

"The last thing papa said to me was _Leesa. _He used my nickname until the end you know, he used it even when he would beat me. Telling me that I was a fox, a joke he had made so that I would know that I had no human value to him." She shook her head slowly, muttering the word _leesa _over and over again. "But what was I suppose to do, _it was me or him_."


End file.
